watching everything before me.

whaa.

2010-02-08T21:17:00.003+08:00

such a long time. almost one year, I should say.

last post was saying goodbye to third year and now, I'm almost (just almost) saying adios to high school. time really flies, I suppose. yeah. haha.

There's this feeling that I could've done more, could've met more people, could've built more relationships, could've read more books, could've gone out more, could've help more. lots of could haves with a month to go. Of course, I'll never be able to cover all of them with so little time left.

so college. Is this choice really going to be life changing?

People say I should choose my passion and go for what I really want.
I don't know what I want, if they're asking for something specific.

It's difficult to assure myself that I'm taking this and not that. I consider myself often unsure, which is bad. I'd rather decide at the last minute when so much pressure is built up. I don't want that to happen, because this is something important to me.

feeling ko ginugulo ko lang yung sarili ko para hindi muna ako makapagdecide fully. kahit alam ko na may decision na ako, I can't say it na that's my decision kasi yung "it's a done deal" feeling na wala nang bawian, it seems so final. :)) pero okay na yun.

at least I made a decision for myself. minsan lang ito.

building bridges. (and walls)

2009-04-06T10:49:00.002+08:00

It's not that I did not really have the time to post anything on this site. I was too lazy, I guess. yeah right. haha.

Third year of high school is already finished and here I am, stuck in my house waiting for the most-awaited party ever.

MANG JO'S BUSMATES PARTY!!! we know we love it. :) haha.

Anyway, I'm really glad that the year is finished. Many things have happened, reaching both highs and lows. I'm happy to see myself here-still alive despite all of the things that I have been through.

TENNIS, SAC, MU EPSILON, INSIGHTS, COCC, and especially 3C! Thank you for being a part of my 3rd year life. haha. no need to elaborate further.

It's goodbye to COCC and a warm welcome for ACP. I just can't wait for it start! haha.

I hope I can attend review classes. I really think I'm not prepared at all. Well, no one's really prepared at this point in time. Review books might help, but I'm really nervous of what's going to happen after high school. I guess for me, it's not about the ideal school; it's the ideal course.

I haven't decided on one. Applications are fast approaching. haha. I have many things in mind, but I guess most of them are quota courses. haha. feeler eh.

so, yeah. piano lessons again? I'd like to give a try, but there are no plans yet. I'm still waiting where I'm going to get one.

happy 18th ELEANOR BEATRIZ RAGASA!!! you're not a minor anymore. woohoo! haha.

what do we do.

2009-02-01T23:07:00.001+08:00

the promenade is fast approaching. and what do we do?

lahat ng preparations to get ourselves ready. Preparations, ready...we need to get ready in anything. In this case, a main event.

Time to take off stress and just relax for this week, because on Saturday, that will be the day for everyone to shine. Everyone is ready and excited. Are you? I am. haha.

But as much as we'd like to, that's life. No breaks...supposedly. So school, here we come. :D

HAPPY 17th BIRTHDAY TO ENRICO AND MATT!!!

AMISTAD AUGUSTINIANA WAS A TOTAL BLAST!!!

met a lot of friends. and moments to treasure and remember. glorious food, I must say.

who knew a thousand three hundred covered that? well, that's what everyone says: it's priceless.

see you guys around.

it's almost there.

2009-01-17T21:46:00.002+08:00

fieldtrip! haha. the link.

http://blueskiedpeople.multiply.com/photos/album/18/3C_fieldtrip_08-09.

I discovered a lot. There has been a lot of misunderstandings that have been resolved. That's what I think it was. That sentence proved us wrong. Once you hear it, you would regret having said it again. I understand now. Thanks a lot! :D

journey to the past.

2009-01-06T21:24:00.004+08:00

school just started. vacation mode. haha.

definitely a lot of things will happen. there's the play, field trip, then the encampment! woohoo. come college week, STAP, the promenade. haha. valentine's day, academic week II, etc.

uh. new seating arrangement??? more like familiar. labo nun ha. familiar seating arrangement. anyway, at least I get to sit with my friends. You know what? I'd really like to have a seating arrangement that's so random. wala lang. There would be times when I get the feeling that I miss a lot from each person in class. Well, sort of. Even if he/she is the most hated, most lovable, most dirty?, most weird, etc. It doesn't hurt trying. haha.

There's this line: you can't please everyone. or it just won't click. Nobody said it had to. Thinking of it, could it be possible to have a decent conversation with someone you're not close with? nope. not at all. maybe: hello, about homeworks (haha.), any school related subject. that's all. but disclosing a personal matter? not at all.

One thing's for sure though, the people that you treasure right now; value it.

There's no harm in trying. haha. as always. make friends. minsan lang yan. :D

why? because, I experienced it. haha. feeling eh. but it's true. haha. I guess I was absolutely wrong about those people.

yeah. whatever. haha.

С Рождеством & С Новым годом!!! haha. fun with the cyrillic alphabet.

save us from final damnation.

2009-01-01T18:00:00.003+08:00

wow. very apocalyptic. sort of. haha. :)

anyway. HAPPY NEW YEAR! MANIGONG BAGONG TAON! (is that right?) IT'S 2009! woohoo! yipee.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!! until January 11 pa eh. haha.

grabe. I really have to say that a lot of things have happened this past year. vacations, never-ending projects and homeworks, laughs, cries (of course.), dull moments, the whaat? moments, shocking revelations, and all the people I encountered with this year.

well. We went to church yesterday to have the anticipated mass. Being an hour early didn't really hurt. haha. we just waited for a very long time that finished very fast.

I decided to take communion, (courtesy of my sister: thanks!) and let it all out. I always chose the one with the face-to-face with the priest. I really don't know why. haha. I also want to see the face of the priest eh. I think it's easier to for me show myself somehow. However, I won't deny that I wasn't ready at that time. The decision was very sudden. whatever. haha. at least I'm cleansed before the year ends and as the new year starts. right? :)

oo nga pala. speaking of new year, I heard this news about the 10 ways of celebrating a green new year. haha. I won't be mentioning all, but here are some of them.

TUMALON HABANG SUMISIGAW NG HAPPY NEW YEAR. (haha. did that already.)
BUMUSINA. (too loud.)
KUMANTA, MAG KARAOKE, MAG INGAY, SUMIGAW?
GUMAMIT NG MARACAS AT KALANSINGIN ANG MGA TAMBURIN NA GAWA SA TANSAN. (yeah, you heard that right.)
GUMAMIT NG TOROTOT. (haha. sounds different.)

that's what I remember. It's been a rainy, and a very smoky new year. All the smoke produced by the firecrackers somewhat clogged into our home. parang may sunog. can't breathe. the 'net's not working properly either. on, off, on, off, on, off, on.

working currently on what's due when school comes. haha. muhkang wala nang magawa eh.

До свидания. :)

inevitable.

2008-12-30T22:12:00.004+08:00

As I look at my hands right now, all I see are fine lines...aging? too early for that. but it shows. haha. through my hair. :

Last Sunday was a visit to our relatives. It's always been like that. We visit them every Christmas break to spend some time with them. After a back pain, an hour sleep and 130 km, we reached our destination. I talked to my cousin about what was school was like for them. right. haha.

So, college talk came. haha. UST or UP. or ADMU, DLSU, UE, PUP. haha. joke. basta yun. AC, FEU, CEU, AMA, STI? nice.

Yesterday, what do I remember about it? what was it...nothing really. just bummed around, and read the Lord of the Rings. :)

nice work J.R.R. Tolkien. hobbbits, wizards, dwarves, orcs: the one ring that will bind the others.

my precious. what's got in his pocketses? creepy.

Today was cleaning. of the mini-van. I didn't really contributed much, but I did what I could to help my sister. haha. I once again realized the hardwork it takes to really clean a car. It's not just wiping the dust of the seat or the stereo. That's why my hands are so dry right now. okay... It's just been a while since I really cleaned one. haha.

I would still have to call myself lucky despite doing things that most people don't do or rarely or always do. I am. :)

fade into the background.

2008-12-29T20:59:00.005+08:00

stories to tell. haha.

saturday. just great. I and my sister convinced our mom to let us go somewhere while she and my other sister attend a wedding. So we ended at SM Mall of Asia. haha. predictable. a mall.

But instead of shopping, or fine dining, we went on skating at the olympic-sized rink. haha. nice. cool. It was very cold, of course. I and my sister skated our way to the snow. :D I really missed the feeling of trying hard not to fall. Not only it is humiliating in some sort of way, but it is also extremely painful. Well, it all depends on the landing I suppose.

What I'm trying to say is I fell. haha. again, again and again. My sister and I even got injured. Well, at least she got to try it for the 1st time. I got to skate again since 4th grade. haha. Our feet ached; but the fun took it all away. :D

We then found ourselves lost in the mall. I knew the mall was big, but we don't know the place much, so it's easy to not know where you're going.

We just went in circles, and to our dismay, the shop we were trying to locate was 4 shops away from where we originally started. We've searched the entire mall, hoping to see the Lord Stow's Bakery. After we found it, my sister decided not to buy. Anyway, it wasn't really a big loss. We got to see the whole mall, at least. :)

shoutout to Carlos! happy birthday! haha. :D

tis' the season to be jolly.

2008-12-26T20:23:00.005+08:00

December 25 is over, but Christmas isn't. It's been ordinary for me, like any other day I'd spent. Except for the part that it's a holy day of obligation, and there's more food. haha. There are gifts too! okay. nothing great really so far about today's break. well, it isn't that bad. food supply has been really great. (okay, enough with the food, alright.) I'm just bumming around.

Playing the piano with the friendly Canon In D was nice, although it was giving me a feeling that I would never really master it. I watched anime again, thanks to Death Note. I'm planning to finish it by the end of the break. I never thought notebooks could be a very interesting subject to watch. Anyway, I just washed dishes again for the longest time. Yehey for me, I guess. haha. It's been a while.

I read again Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows for the "nth" time. Started last Wednesday, finished today. haha. Horcruxes vs. Hallows...right. StepMania's a big help since it improved my eye and hand coordination. what else...yeah! I would have wanted to go to a wedding tomorrow. But no. My sister would come instead because she's seeing a friend of hers. So...hoping to go somewhere else other than our home tomorrow.

I guess I'll never attend a wedding in my life...for now. haha. Before I forget, I would like those who have given presents to my mom, you surely gave us something to feast on! haha.

Belated 52nd birthday to my mom! Belated 23rd birthday to my sister! Belated 57th brithday to my dad. All birthdays were celebrated this December. :)

If I miss school, yeah. probably. but not loads of homeworks. or even the periodical test. See you soon!!!

abot kamay ang langit.

2008-12-11T21:22:00.003+08:00

congratulations to us!!! haha. ito, kahit pagod na, patuloy pa rin ang kasiyahan sa pagkapanalo ng ating pangkat. woohoo. 2nd place for 1 1/2 weeks worth of practice. actually hindi pa nga araw- araw yung practice eh. haha. :) a very big thanks to everyone who participated and supported us!

Go Mr. Arawag, Mrs. Villegas amd Mrs. Camartin!!! haha. madami kaming nadiscover ha. :D Lubos ang aming pasasalamat dahil nandiyan kayo. haha...and we especially thank God for making it happen.

haay. walang tigil ang pagdaloy ng tubig. there are times when we tend to be complacent even though the current is weak. kaya pag lumakas, nasasama tayo. in short, malulunod.

life is unpredictable, one day you're up, the next second you're down. so...yun.

that's it then. see you around. :)

let it all out.

2008-12-08T22:11:00.002+08:00

I should be doing our social museum simulation, instead I'm doing this. Minsan lang naman ito kaya pinagbigayan ko na. haha.

The past weekend has been just too cramped. Two prayer meetings, two masses, two practices, two experiments. Seems everything comes in twos already. Buy one, take one? No, thanks.

But it made me think that even though madami akong ginagawa, madami pa rin ako spare time na napunta lang sa personal purposes. TV, internet, sleeping, pagkain, paglakad, commute, and etc.

Here I am now hoping that I still have enough time to finish everything. Yeah, I know that I still need time for myself, but if I don't make any sacrifices, chances are I'll be suffering in the future. I'm going to be stuck with nowhere to go.

That's the last thing I want to happen right now.

So. I'll be finish with this early.

see you guys next time! :)

times change.

2008-12-01T21:43:00.002+08:00

I can say this with a lot of sincerity. It's been a while since I've written anything on this blog. haha...laziness, and lots of things to do.

Practice didn't go that well, because the practice didn't pursue. To tell the truth, I wasted a lot of money and effort commuting to Makati, and this is what happens. frustration. On the good side, I'm still happy to have seen my classmates. haha. ")

I finally went to the cemetery without my mom! haha. I'm not saying it's a bad having her around; my sister drove us there. It's fun, and traumatizing at the same time because it's her first time (I think..) to drive with us around. I'm just happy to have gone home safely.

I can definitely say that we're all grown up. Since then, a lot has happened. With all the laughs, cries, and smiles, we've gone far from what we were before. I know you're proud of us right now. We miss you! Thanks for everything. :)

what?

2008-10-19T19:33:00.004+08:00

I had the anticipated mass with my mom and my sister instead of going today because of (guess what!), periodical tests. I'm not really looking forward to it, but who cares. At least it's going to be finished soon. Just five more days.

Kaya ito, nag-aaral (daw!) ako. Hanggang ngayon ganoon pa rin yung 'routine' na sinunsundan.
Bumalik muna tayo sa mga nakalipas na pangyayari; nung nagsimba kami, nag-Angelus muna tapos bago magsimula yung misa, at nagsalita yung kura. Nagbigay siya ng mga tuntunin sa pagdalo sa misa. Sabi niya na umurong kami sa bandang harapan para mas makasali sa misa.

I was like what? Did I hear it right? I wasn't even so sure because I knew I had a bad sense of hearing, but it was confirmed by my sister. haha. Who cares? As long as people would come in front, I guess it won't really matter that much.

Kagagaling ko lang ng SM Bicutan, namili ng mga kagamitan para sa HE. Sobrang pasasalamat ko na bukas na ang huling pagbebenta namin. haha. Nakakapagod rin pala magpatakbo ng maliit na negosyo.

shoutout to my cousin; Happy 16th Birthday!!! at last magka-age na rin tayo. haha.

so... guess this is it.

in the dark.

2008-10-16T21:34:00.004+08:00

Pagod na ako. Nakakapagod ang ganito. Masaya nga ba talaga ako sa ginagawa ko? Ginusto ko ito, ngunit sa paglipas ng panahon ay tila naglalaho ang pakiramdan na iyon.

I suddenly get bored. and tired. I'm never really sure if it's only a test of my capability or if it's not meant for me. I'd like to wait for a sign; however, that hasn't been the case. Most of the time, I'm required to make split decisions which will bring about extreme changes. Not really extreme as you may think, but it is at a certain point or level.

So, back to what happened.

2 periods of English didn't materialize, (I think I used it incorrectly...) but we still managed to cover something on Elizabeth. She became queen, so on and so forth.

Ang daming natamaan sa Filipino. Kasama na siguro ako doon. Hindi pa kasi ako sigurado kung yun nga ang nararamdaman ko. Masaya lang talaga ako na kasama siya, ngunit hindi ko pa naiisip nang lubusan yung natalakay namin kanina.

I'm glad to have PE in my life. haha. Whatever LA meant, it was tiring; more than that of ballroom dancing. It was fun hanging in the 70's-80's zone. Math was discussed with the converse of the Pythagorean Theorem and other theorems as well.

PARTHENIC: noun or adjective??? actually, it could be both. However, I chose it as an adjective; so that's it.

Masaya yung training and pamimili ng mga grocery. Nakapagpahinga naman ako nang maayos at marami akong natutunan sa aking paglalakad. haha. Computer LT or PT bukas; siguradong nosebleed dahil sa mga codes na iyan. Marian Procession rin bukas; go COCC.

I suppose that's all. See you guys soon!!!

abot kamay ang langit.

2008-10-15T21:10:00.003+08:00

doing nothing really. just fooling around. haha.

I watched a movie that I have already watched ages ago. It's still nice from my own point of view. It would consider it as "predictable and a usual," but those same things make it nice.

"If I die, I want to become the wind again. I will be always beside you."

umm. what happened today. yeah! we watched Elizabeth. It's disturbing on how people were tortured and killed because of difference in religion and belief.

english LT was okay. I forgot that the subject of the verb is in the nominative case. Who cares? (at least I had the right guess.) Science was total outrage: in a good way. LEDS, bonding...

HE. sold 4o orders of pasta. mabilis ang bentahan eh.

math. AA ulit. tama na sa pagguhit ng triangles. pwede iba naman? nasawa na ako sa triangles eh. haha. joke.

looking forward to tennis, and PE, and two periods of english.

that's really it then.

already taken.

2008-10-14T21:31:00.006+08:00

It's been a long, long day.

Mahaba rin ang pinagdaanan namin. Pagkatapos lahat ng mga paulit-ulit na pag-eensayo ay nagtapos na rin ang lahat ng pinaghirapan namin.

It was at least 5 hours of performances (which was very agonizing), that have elapsed. We had to wait outside before we could even perform. It rained; glitches occurred and malfunctions came about, but everything went well. Couldn't have ask for more.

Bukas ay magbabalik ang lahat sa dati.

There's the English LT, HE Cooking. I'm not entirely looking forward to another day anymore. Things that are already delayed shouldn't be delayed further. I dislike the fact that all of it builds up in matter of seconds and voila! Too much of everything.

Kahit paano may kainan bukas sa club namin. :D

I will bring food. hahaha. doughnut and brownies party? why not.

Magkita-kita na lang tayo bukas! :)

i don't want to miss a thing.

2008-10-13T21:11:00.005+08:00

Ito ang kanyang kuwento.

It was hard to leave her knowing that she was in so much pain. She was moaning again and again for the last six hours or so. It's like what you see in films, you don't want to see a person be delayed of his/her agony because it's really hard see someone going through a lot of pain. One can only imagine.

Hindi ako makatulog. Nasaktan ang loob kong nariring siyang paulit-ulit na sumisigaw. Hindi ko kayang makita na ganyan lang siya. Naisip ko na siguro ngang mas makabubuti kung kunin na ang lahat ng sakit na kanyang dinaranas. Nang mag alas-kwatro ng umaga, biglang tumahimik ang paligid.

I did my so-called "usuals." I wanted to go and look if she was still okay; however, I was afraid of seeing her dead. I'm not yet ready, although there was this great feeling of her being dead.

Hindi ako mapakali. Nawala siya nang saglit sa aking isipan, ngunit bumalik ito nang malapit nang matapos ang aking pasok. Hindi ko maipaliwanag ang aking naramdaman noong mga oras na iyon sapagkat gusto ko pa rin siya makasama. Sa kabilang banda naman, mas makabubuti rin naman kung mamamatay siya dahil ayaw ko na rin siyang nakiktang naghihirap.

I was going for the first choice, but not everyone can always get what he/she wants. I'm sure about one thing though, you can find happiness in just about anything. Even if people are not what you expect them to be, it's a given fact that you will be happy spending time with them.

And with that, I will miss her so much.

this would be the last.

2008-10-12T21:48:00.007+08:00

and so I shall. I have started a new blog again, still with the same site. The former one had some problem, so I had to delete it.

Going to the real story.

Mahirap mawalan ng isang minamahal sapagkat kahit hindi na kayo malapit sa isa't isa, lahat ng pinagsamahan ninyong dalawa ay naging makabuluhan.

It's so hard to let go. I'm not really close to our pets in the house, but what I had with him was special. It's hard to see her suffering so much pain, especially when she moans again and again. I do regret not having spent enough time with her. She's always been there, yet she was left with our maid. Eight years, it has been, and still painfully continuing.

Ipinipilit niyang itaas ang kanyang ulo upang lumingon kung sino ang tumatawag sa kanya, ngunit kasama nito ang nawawala niyang lakas. Nahuhulog ito sa sementong matigas, ngunit hindi naging hadlang upang itaas muli.

My sister decide to put on something soft under. She got a towel and I placed it beneath her head. I realized why I didn't want to have pets in the house; they're hard to take care of, but most important of all; hard to let go. They're like humans, even without the ability to really think for themselves, relationships are also built with them.

Ngayon na ang huli.